Veterans Day. A day to celebrate, reach out, and respect our war Veterans. And a day for big corporate brands to promote their products under the guise of giving a shit. Between this day and 9-11 day, it is hard to hold back the tears when these products advertise themselves, all in the name of showing respect to our veterans. Remember, Veterans Day is all about saying “thanks” to a Veteran, then buying something you don’t need so some big corporate behemoth can have a big sale’s day to improve the quarterly numbers.
Let’s look at some real winners today.
Look, support your war hero grandfather buy purchasing some sunglasses in tiger print, or American Flag print. Who doesn’t want to shake a Veterans hand while wearing some amazing American Flag shades? He or she will really think, “man, this person really cares about my sacrifice.” Far Out Sunglasses, these people really care.
— Far Out Sunglasses (@faroutsunglass) November 11, 2015
Happy Veterans Day. If you know any who want to get shown some real respect by paying for a sweet ass fishing excursion, please contact the girl in the American Flag thong who can’t stop thanking Veterans (after you rent the boat for a few hours with your beer buddies).
Happy Veterans Day, go buy a new recliner. Why not relax today?
— Big Lots (@BigLots) November 11, 2015
The Pentagon probably paid us to wear these fatigues. So Happy Veterans Day from the Houston Texan cheerleaders.
I’m just gonna say Happy Veterans Day, but before I do that, I just wanna quickly say “vote for me for President.” This message has been approved by 2016 Presidential Candidate, Lindsey Graham.
— Lindsey Graham (@LindseyGrahamSC) November 11, 2015
Happy Veterans Day. And also, GO MAGIC.
Retweet and share our brand and you can win a $25 gift card. So easy and simple! You don’t even have to go to war or care that anyone did. BEST VETERANS DAY EVER.
— Carolina Ale House (@ColumbianaDrive) November 11, 2015